It's been awhile, lets see if I still got it

HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T
MOVE FAST ANYMORE

George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi, was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.
George opened the back door to go turn off the light ,but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.
He phoned the police, who asked, "Is someone in your house?" He said, "no." Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available.
George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and
phoned the police again. "Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've just shot them all." Then he hung up.
Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence and caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the Policemen said to George: "I thought you
said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody
available!"

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It takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, but only takes 4 muscles to reach out and b***h slap them

That's soo funny

thats great, works better than having to wait lol..

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"If your joking thats cruel, if your being sarcastic, thats even worse."